Chapter 7: Testing our Metal

As we awoke from our unconscious state, the old man greeted us. We reminisced a little, asked a few questions, and learned more about the tapestry in which fate was weaving our threads. ~I hope you will appreciate the weapons of legend that I have either found or forged for you. Now go through the ancient city and find/slay the lich and his minions.~ He paraphrased as a door opened behind him.

We unsuccessfully tried to wake Sloan, when the old man said he would find us when he awoke. We set off down the well-lit hall, Aida grabbed a torch from the wall, just in case. The hallway wound deep into the mountain. It opened into a dark room. The light from Aida’s torch did not reach any wall, save the one they entered through. A shadowy figure flew through Igor’s peripheral. He cast dancing lights in the direction it was moving, but it was already gone.

A horrible wail started up in the darkness. The dwarf and rangers were stunned by the racket, and Igor cast more lights to try and reveal the source. Some things should be left in the dark…

Chapter 6: Trial by Fire

We were captivated by the runes, a different one calling to each of us. They called us deep within ourselves to personal trials, where something of a god wished to test our mettle. Afterwards, we had more time in the dark to share our trials.

Jarod was called to a short hallway, the end of which was barred by a large door. Upon this door was inscribed a riddle.

“insert riddle here”

He quickly guessed the answer, and the door swung open, revealing an orc. This orc was a monster, even amongst his kind, and wield a great spiked chain made of an eerie dark metal. Jarod matched his foe swing for swing. With a final blow that nearly ripped the orcs head off, he found himself falling down a pit with no end in sight.

               Aida found herself on a bright cloud. “Oh gods, am I dead…” she panicked. An old man strolled up next to her and asked what she wanted most. She answered that she would most like her group to be safely out of the hole they were stuck in. The old shook his head at her lack of imagination, but had to admit her selflessness seemed sincere. He asked her to solve a riddle.

“insert riddle here”

She eventually guessed the answer. “Very good,” congratulated the old man, “now let’s see you solve this.” Aida found herself suddenly underwater, and instinctually swam to the surface. One dim torch illuminated a nearby shore, and she made her way to it. She found a hallway leading into the rock face, and it led to three doors.

One opened easily, and held only a table with a crust of stale bread which a rat would turn down. The other two were sealed tight. She tried to pick the lock, force the door (less than brilliant as the doors opened out), even using the riddle’s answer as a passphrase, but nothing worked. The old man told her there was a simply answer she hadn’t tried. She sat against a wall, weary from overthinking. In a flash of clarity, she knocked on the door. It swung open invitingly, and its guardians swung their swords towards her stomach. She tried to fight them off, but they just wouldn’t go down. Searching for secret escape, she kicked open the sarcophagus in the center of the room. The crumbling bones inside clutched a beautiful bronze dagger to its chest. Aida snatched it up as the skeletons ran her through. She too found herself falling down one of those stereotypical nightmare spirals.

Ethiriel met the old man in a clearing. He asked her a riddle. When she answered, he presented her with two prizes. First was her packhorse, whom she had missed sorely since they were whisked away in the sewers. Second was Sloan, who was aiming a bow at her head. She rolled out of the way of the speeding arrow. In a brief moment of sanity, Sloan called out to Ethiriel “What’s going on?” “You tried to shoot me!” she yelled. “Oh shit, there are the voices again… DODGE!” he struggled as he unwillingly readied another arrow. Woosh, it missed, barely. They tried many tactics, splitting up, breaking arrows, restraining Sloan, but he was always magically able to fire upon her when the voices compelled him. She found the answer in the riddle, and allowed the next arrow to find its mark. She fell into a bright void, and imagined it was death.

Sloan was sent to a pleasure palace, and, after being forced to fire on an ally, was rather unsurprised to be greeted by a strange old man. A riddle was asked and answered, as reward Sloan was sent on a mission worth 2k platinum to assassinate a male drow who was somehow climbing through the military ranks. Sloan gladly accepted, and was given a magical map which showed his position, but not his target. He quickly found an expensively armored drow, relieving himself, and managed to sneak up on him. The first arrow crippled the man, allowing time for two more shots before the drow could reach Sloan. A solid blow with his heavy pick finished the job smoothly. As his target fell to the ground, Sloan slipped through a rift in time and space, and began orbiting a small comet at the edge of the universe.

Igor was more aware of the illusory nature of his situation, and introduced himself when the old man appeared. He was congratulated on his politeness, and the old man apologized that he could not return the introduction at the time. Riddle, trial, falling, let’s move on with the story.

All were thrown against a wall of the pit as they returned to reality, and took a well-earned nap.

Chapter 5: Out of the Pan

Our heroes awaken from some much needed rest after their battle with the wyvern, only to find that Sloan has been hauled off. Ethiriel quickly picks up the trail and leads the group in pursuit. The trail leads them to a deep ravine. While the group was busy searching for their lost friend, a goblin gang lurked overhead.

The keen rangers sensed trouble and alerted the archers to the threat. The goblins finally grew impatient (they had shown marvelous will power, for goblins, waiting the few minutes they had) and rained javelins upon the heroes. Ethiriel returned fire upon the exposed hooligans. Most of the party hauled ass to the canyon exit, but Aida (a little embarrassed at her cowardice with the dragon) stood her ground and hurled some childish insults (very effective at gaining a goblins attention).

This afforded the party enough time to escape the canyon. They entered a large depression in the mountains, hidden away from the town and snow. Igor and the rest hurried across to the cave at the other end of the valley.

Aida, knowing her party was safely out of range, began searching for a way up to the nasty little fiends. However, they were confident in their numbers, and quickly climbed down to surround her. She summoned her mind-blade, readied her gauntlet, and proceeded to kick goblin ass.

Igor, leading the retreat across the valley, was first to the cave. He slowly approached, and his caution was rewarded as he was able to dodge the charging bear. As the others arrive, they take up arms to defend their friend against the furious beast. All got their shots off at the bear, whittling its health down. However, the bear was quickly defeating each of them until Kilkas the dwarf struck a mighty blow that ended the rampage.

Fortunately, no-one was damaged beyond repair. After a little rest—and many, many prayers to (insert dwarf god here)—the party was ready to continue the search for our absent acquaintance.

The party began searching the valley for other threats, or for any sign of Sloan. As night approached, they returned to the cavern, hoping the dwarf had turned up some hidden door the rest of us had missed. Unfortunately, he had gone missing as well. “He couldn’t have gone far,” noted Jarod, “the only tracks of his that venture outside the cave are those that go to and from the pissing tree.” “Perhaps he found a trap door that doesn’t have a way back.” proposed Ethiriel. Everyone began to scour the cave for any sign of where he might be.

Over the next couple of days, party members disappeared one by one; as they unwittingly found the trapdoor they’d been searching so hard for. Aida and Igor were the last two left. Igor finally managed to find the trigger without standing on the trapdoor. Now that the trap was revealed, the two left topside set their minds to disarming. Enter the troll…

Despite the horrid grunting of the monstrosity, Aida was too deep in thought to notice it shuffle behind her. She was sent flying across the room by a single strike of its massive club. She hit the wall and landed prone on the trapdoor. Igor quick thinking saved their lives, when he purposefully triggered the trap, and dove through the door himself. Having escaped the troll, he had time to ponder his position.

“Well thas jus great, we’re all back together, in a hole!” the dwarf cried out in annoyance. When Aida came to she started to panic, “Oh no…first I lost my memory… now I can’t see!” “Relax, I’m sure you’re fine, it’s just very dark down here.” Ethiriel tried to calm the girl, with only mild success. Igor kept up his murmuring as he thought, something about needing to escape before the dwarf *A quick sound clip*farted.

Now that everyone was a little woozy, strange runes began to glow on the wall…

Chapter 4: Snowdale Shitstorm

E

ven after the spring thaw in Snowdale (where "spring thaw" means the hot springs have resurfaced), it’s far too cold for most to be without heavy outerwear. The last thing you would expect to see is a grown man stroll into town, remove his trousers and to begin to thoroughly relieve his bowels in the town square. The guards were at first impressed that this man had taken a shit that put the whole stable of horses to shame. Once finished with their bewildered staring, they approached cautiously, praying he was finished. Igor Krevasse was still trying to shake off the final clinger, when the guards confronted him with his crime. As the guard reached out to take him by the arm, the stranger was spooked (apparently Igor’s last party had tried to rape him). He sprang into the air, which successfully detached the dangling defecation. In an impressive display of agility, Igor put on his trousers, both legs at once, and hit the ground running. The guards were once again caught off-guard and needed a second to reflect before giving chase.

Having just witnessed this ludicrous display from the tavern window, the local rogue decides to help out this athletic clown, and heads out the back exit to intercept the guards. Being a second too late due to stumbling through his laughter, Sloan finds he must chase down the guards he sought to sap.

The party awakens cold and sore from being left unconscious on the street.

Kilkas.................. -"Where the fuck are we?!?"

Aida.................... -"Oh no, not again..."

Jarod.................. -"Where'd that shady sorcerer run off to?"

Ethiriel................ -"SHH! There are people running towards us, several are armored, like guards."

Aida to Jarod....... -"Throw me one end of your rope and hold the other tight"

Ethiriel & Kilkas.... -"What are you doing?!"

Aida.................... -"Fishing for information, and LOLs"

Igor comes barreling down the alley, doesn't see the rope and trips, but his magnificent reflexes come through for him and he rolls back to his feet without losing pace. The guards were not so fortunate; they fell flat on their faces, unconscious. Sloan followed the guards on their eager attempt to become one with the earth, and his drawn pick found its way into a guards head on the way down. Aida immediately takes off running and laughing, as her little prank caused a bit more damage than intended, and was soon followed by the party (some speechless, others in similar hysterics). Hearing the collision and seeing the bloodshed, the Igor takes off after the group that incapacitated his pursuers. Having severely broken his nose, the Sloan chases down the party who dared mar his good looks.

Now far out of town, in the middle of an open field, Kilkas the dwarf bellows a repetition of his previous question, "WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE!?!" By this time he has been left behind by the party and is easily followed by the strangers. Seeing that his 'friends' heard his call and were returning to him, Kilkas takes a minute to rest. Everyone arrives at the dwarf about the same time. The stranger introduced himself as Igor Krevasse a Duskblade looking for work and a place to wipe his ass. The rogue called himself Sloan, and was upset about his face. He calmed significantly when the laughing girl handed him a healing potion to go along with her greeting and apology. With amends made, apologies accepted, and introductions out of the way, the group finds they have made two new allies.

They knew they couldn't return to the town after all the shit and shenanigans. So the rogue pointed out a far off stronghold where he felt we could spend the night. As we approached, the lack of guards at this 'stronghold' began to worry the rangers. "You two, with the noisy chain-mail, stand watch at the entrance while we sneak in and search for clues," whispered Jarod. The four entered the keep and found the first and second floors empty of all but torches. Etheriel the elf seemed to think it safe to bring the others so she went back for them. Jarod, Igor and Sloan continued upstairs.

They found the third floor eerily dark, and with no other light source handy, Igor summoned some dancing lights into the room. While illuminating the room quite nicely, it also immediately freaked out the horde of bats that were sleeping overhead. The rest of us arrived soon after, and everyone started flailing about trying to annihilate the attacking swarm. After many rodent casualties, and several minor bites, the swarm flew off. Sloan and Aida collected several corpses for food, should they find time to cook them.

On the next floor we found scattered piles of weapons and clothing. A quick search found nothing of obvious value, and we headed up the stairs once more. This flight brought us up to the roof. We were met with a breath-taking view of the valley, and village, and…DRAGON!

Off in the distance, something clearly larger than we were prepared for was swooping in for the attack! Aida was again first to react, and blasted through her companions and down the stairs. She was soon followed by the rangers and Igor, but Sloan and Kilkas were too slow. The gleam of the dwarf’s hammer must have thrown off the beast’s aim, because the dwarf escaped sudden death by the hair on his chinny-chin-chin. After promptly soiling his trousers, Kilkas took a mighty swing at the wyvern’s behind, missed and went downstairs. Sloan let fly some arrows before joining the party a floor down.

These two were greeted by Aida who, feeling they would be trapped in this keep till that thing got bored, was cooking several bats over a small pile of burning clothing. “That abomination won’t be getting bored until it falls to pieces, miss. As it is an undead wyvern, I got a close enough look at its rotting carcass.” the dwarven priest told the young girl, before he grabbed some spare trousers and followed the rest of the party to the ground floor.

BOOM

The tower shuddered as the massive creature began to beat in the roof. As the party strategized below, the girl began spreading a trail of oil from her lamp.

BOOM

Dust and bits of stone fell from the ceiling form the next blow. She had finished spreading the oil and retreated down stairs as her inferno engulfed the room.

BOOM
               SCREECH
               THUD

The wyvern screamed as its latest blow knocked itself off-balance and it fell from the tower. Five stories below, the earth shook with the impact. Kilkas was still in the doorway as Aida reached the bottom floor. In her hurry, and for her own amusement, she leap-frogged over his head, much to his chagrin. Jarod and Igor immediately went outside to see if they could find a weakness while the beast was stunned. Ethiriel and Sloan followed a second later. Aida stuck her head out the door and wished them luck. The fool-hardy few who ventured out managed to piss it off a little more before running back inside. Jarod had taken a direct hit from its claw. Aida handed him a healing potion as he hobbled in, and Kilkas sent up a prayer for some divine healing.

SWISH

The wyvern shot his tail through the door and barely missed Igor; who responded by sending a ray of enfeeblement to sap the beast of its great strength. Those skilled with the bow sent a volley of arrows through the door. Aida and Kilkas waited on either side with their weapons prepped to play whack-a-tail.

boom

The duskblade’s spells were working. That last attack was far weaker than the ones before it fell from the tower. We continued this cycle until the wyvern was nearly too weak to stand. Aida and Sloan dove past the beast to gain better angles of attack. After minutes that seemed like hours, through sheer luck and determination, the beast was slain.

Chapter 3: Rail-a-Ported

We stared at the corpse, taking a moment of silence for the fallen. Jarod and Ethiriel had just started searching for clues to the murderers’ whereabouts, when guards came marching around the corner. The guards saw the bloody corpse, but the rangers had heard them coming and ushered us through a half-shut doorway they suspected to be the murders’ escape route.

The guards took their time examining the body, and by the time they searched this building, we had found hiding spots behind several large wine casks(unfortunately empty). The guards had given up on this building and moved onto the next. We squeezed out of our hiding spots, and discussed our options while stretching our limbs.

There was a hole in the back wall of the wine room, an outdoors swarming with guards, and a hallway that smelled like it led down to the sewers. The vote was begrudgingly unanimous to investigate the sewers for the killers. So, down the hallway we marched, certain we’d find the criminals.

The main hallway was fairly clean, but several side corridors vented malodorous vapors. Curious as to what could cause such a stench, Aida squeezed herself down one passage. She got to a door that had years of rust on it hinges, and it made a seismic squeak as she muscled it open. She looked around at what seemed to be a collection room for a significant portion of the town’s waste. Also, there was tremendous tetra-tentacle trash-eating terror.

 It swiftly swatted the girl, who fell over as its toxins paralyzed her. Jarod tried to counter tentacle the beast with his chain, but was simply out-numbered, and also paralyzed. Ethiriel shot some cover arrows to distract the monster as Kilkas dragged the tow dead-beats out of harm’s way, and closed the door. Jarod and Aida soon recovered from the toxin, and Aida’s curiosity was temporarily sated.

They continued down the main hall, and found a door at the end that didn’t reek of refuse. Jarod quietly opened it, and we saw a camp set for four. One remained, sleeping on the large chest he should have been guarding. Aida and Jarod drew their weapons, and sneaked up on the guard. As they approached the guard stabbed at them with his spear.

“AMBUSH!” yelled Jarod, as the other bandits tried to burst through the doors. Aida quickly slew the guard, and barred the door that was shaking but hadn’t opened yet. Jarod attacked the bandit that succeeded in breaking in, Kilkas was holding off a half-orc that had cut off our retreat, while Ethiriel sent several in its direction. The sorcerer had run out of spells and drawn his dagger to assist Jarod in his kill. The half-orc pushed Kilkas and Ethiriel into the room, Aida threw her soulknife and it found its mark between the brute’s beady eyes. She opened the door for the final bandit, who was greeted by an arrow in each eye.

They opened the chest together, and inside they found…